Beverly Hills Chihuahua

I did not realize...

that people and I mean A LOT OF PEOPLE would go see Beverly Hills Chihuahua. I first saw the preview for this horrendous mess before Wall-E (excellent movie by the way). In no way was the trailer intended to be funny, but I could not stop laughing at the absurdness of this film, seriously, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Beyond the incredible idea that this movie was made, it somehow is the #1 movie in American and has grossed over 40 million dollars (how is this possible??). This just goes to show the horrible taste the average American has for film. I am truly appalled. I would appreciate if anyone could tell me why anyone who isn't under 7 years old would go see this movie. Wait, its got real dogs that are talking...HILARIOUS!, singing, dancing chihuahuas in the wilds of Mexico. Doesn't get much better than that... This is complete crap and I will punch anyone I know who has seen this steaming pile. Do America a favor and go see decent, original and thought provoking cinema, please.

Fantasy Football

I did not realize...

how agonizing failure in fantasy football can be. For the past six years I have been an avid participant in fantasy football, in fact I am the commissioner of a highly competitive league. I even consider myself an above average fantasy player, but this year has been more painful than any past seasons. My team consists of an under-achieving bunch, the main culprit has been Green Bay's Ryan Grant. This has equated to a record of 0-5 to begin the season. In years past I have consistently performed well and take pride in the fact I am typically one of the better teams, not this year. The brutal defeats I have suffered each week even downplay the success of my favorite NFL team, the Redskins. Sitting in front of television with my laptop by my side has become a ritual since the advent of Yahoo!'s wonderful invention, StatTracker. This is a double-edged sword, as I pray upon each play, hoping somehow my pathetic team will rise to the occasion only to see them fail in the end. Five weeks into the season and nothing but disappointment and false hope has blessed my team.

The fact that fantasy football has taken such a prominent place in our culture is truly fascinating. Bill Simmons recently wrote an excellent article describing the impact fantasy football now has in our society. I can wholeheartedly relate to the pain of defeat this year. Hopefully things will take an up swing, but I guess there always has to be a winner and a loser. Unfortunately, this year I am the big loser.

Watchmen

I did not realize...

that Watchmen, the graphic novel soon to be turned movie, is not only one of the most anticipated movies of 2009 but is considered one of the greatest pieces of literature over the past 75 years.  Like most people, my first experience with Watchmen was the trailer that premiered before The Dark Knight.  Needless to say I was blown away.  While I found 300, director Zach Snyder's breakout feature film, a bit over the top it still was visually stunning and overall entertaining.  With his ambitious task of re-creating the Watchmen world, a movie people said could never be made, I feel Warner Brothers has put the right man in charge.  The few minutes the trailer provided me of Zach Snyder's vision of the graphic novel definitely has me thinking this movie could easily surpass Sin City as the best graphic novel adaptation.  The trailer has inspired me to research these strange, mysterious "heroes" and is only getting me more pumped.  Be wary fellow Watchmen fans, over the past week there have been rumblings that a court ruling could put the movie on hold; pushing the opening weekend past the scheduled March 6th, 2009 opening.  Would be a shame to miss this date, 03.06.09...the same numbers on 3 points of a watch, man.

The MLB All-Star Game

I did not realize...

that the MLB All-Star Game has become a big joke. The first signs of the dying of the Mid-Summer Classic began several years ago when the game ended in a tie, that's right a freakin tie...in baseball. Than commissioner Bud Selig decided home-field advantage for the World Series should be given to the league that wins the All-Star game. Way to think outside the box there Bud, but you failed. Home-field should be given to the team with the best overall record, seems to work well in the NBA and NHL. More recent is the fact that Jason Varitek was voted as the starting catcher for the American League. Varitek may very well be the heart and soul of the Red Sox and the team's captain, but as far as productive catchers in the AL goes he's near the bottom. Doesn't that truly determine what an "all-star" is? The best players up to this point in the season should be honored. The near-obnoxious level of love for the Red Sox has undoubtedly tainted this year's game but has come to be expected due to the fan-voting policies. I believe the fan-voting combined with player's votes should be the way the all-stars are determined. No one has a better idea of who truly deserves to be in the All-Star game than the players themselves. They should have say on which guys get to represent their league and all of baseball. Because of my love for the game I will be watching the All-Star game on Tuesday night, but also I will be cringing when I see Varitek come to the plate with his .220 batting average.

Ireland Loves Pringles

I did not realize...

that Ireland loves the Pringles chip. I visited Ireland a month ago and was astonished to find that Pringles are the favorite snack of the Irish. No more than a novelty item in the States, mainly due to their catchy "Once you pop you can't stop" slogan, the Pringles are finding a home in Ireland. A visited numerous pubs in Ireland (OK, I have a problem) and 95% of the establishments sold mini-cans of Pringles behind the bar. Some places even had vending machines full of Pringles. What is the deal?? The sad fact is that I couldn't get a straight answer from anyone. Is this a vast conspiracy from the Pringles Corporation? I think I have stumbled upon something truly amazing...

Bob Costas

I did not realize...

that Bob Costas is 56 years old. Doesn't this guy seem ageless? I feel like he hasn't lost a beat from when I was a kid. Behind John Madden and Marv Albert he has to be considered one of the top 5 sports casters of our generation of sporting events. Look at the guys I am comparing him too, Madden is 71 and sounds worse every year. Marv Albert (66) is another sex biting incident from spending his golden years behind bars. Yet Costas remains relevant and entertaining after all these years. Here's a man who not only has his own show on HBO (has to play second fiddle to Real Sports), but is the go-to guy for ALL NBC sports. Sure, his wheel house is definitely baseball, but Costas can do it all. My only wish is that NBC would allow him to shine outside of the crappy pre-game show during the NFL season. Costas, you are the man!

People Wear Socks w/ Sandals

I did not realize...

that people wear socks with sandals way too frequently. Everyone should be given a manual at around 5th or 6th grade that explains the dos and don'ts of common fashion trends. No more than two months ago I was at a fraternity party (totally sweet bra!) and I saw an adult male wearing black (double dagger!!) socks with sandals. Did that register? You can't believe it either, huh? Sure fads change from generation to generation, but this is one that in no circumstance is acceptable. There are only two, I repeat two, instances where it is permissible for anyone to be wearing socks with sandals. Coming or going to an athletic event that you are participating in. That's it. End of story. This kid was not doing this to be funny either, I could at least respect the attempt though it no doubt would not have been funny in the least bit. I was simply dumbfounded when no one made a point to either a) ridicule him relentlessly b) save his ass and "accidentally" dump a beer on his feet or c) punch him in the kidney and tell him to stop reading the Sears catalog for fashion advice. Man, Bruno would be so proud of me right now.

Doorbell Ringing

I did not realize...

that some people ring a door bell with their thumb. Hang in there for a second, let me try and explain. I was in the car with my friend (who shall remain nameless for his own sake) the other day who reenacted ringing a doorbell with his thumb. Now, I'm not sure about most people, but I don't think I have never ever seen anyone ring a doorbell with their thumb. The go-to stance is fist clenched, index finger pointing at your target. Am I crazy here or does ringing with your thumb just seem bizarre?? It's almost as weird as left clicking on a mouse with your thumb. It gets the job done, but it's weird. The thumb out version is solely reserved for thumb print scanning or at least thats what all my favorite movies have taught me. Or maybe I am unaware of a sub-cultural of proponents for thumb doorbell ringing only. Great I can see it now, "Man Sued by Those for the Advancement of Doorbell Thumb Ringers." Bottom line, you thumb doorbell ringers creep me out!

Lost & Tracking

I did not realize...

that tracking people was so easy! I'm a huge fan of the TV show Lost but the fact that everyone seemingly has gained the ability to track people is a bit drastic. While some of the survivors of Oceanic flight 815 had experience with picking up the paths of people, I seriously doubt the huge mess Hurley or pansy-ass Charlie could find anyone (maybe both could with a promise of food or heroin, respectively). The jungle these people are traveling through is massive and I'm to believe they can notice a single footprint? If you do in fact find 1 footprint, seems it should take forever to continuously find the next footprint, therefore allowing the people you are tracking to only get further away. But not on this island, no sir. I'm going to have a small scale experiment by walking in the woods behind my house and then go back and see if I can track myself. I will essentially walk around in a circle. I guarantee I will get lost (hah, I'm punny! I think that counts as another one). I can see the next days spent attempting to hunt squirrels with poorly sharpened twigs and drinking out of the polluted creek. Hey, that sounds like a great idea for a TV show. People, people getting lost... Hollywood here I come!

Drexel University Basketball

I did not realize...

that the Drexel University basketball team plays in a gymnasium (notice how I used instead of arena or athletic center). While watching my George Mason Patriots having to slum it with those "Dragons" (do they know that dragons are fictitious?) from Philadelphia, I decided this is truly ridiculous. I knew we were in trouble when I saw that the basket was hung from the ceiling. When ESPNU took nice crowd shots you could see about 8 other baskets cranked up to the rafters in an attempt to look like a legitimate facility. I'm surprised they don't have blue pads behind the hoops so no one gets hurt. Yikes! Good thing the game I was watching started at 7 because the badminton team has practice at 9:30 on courts 6 & 7 and a big game of intramural knockout is starting at 10 on court 12. This a university with over 12,000 students not some liberal arts college, Drexel step it up!

Curt Menefee

I did not realize...

that FOX NFL Sunday host Curt Menefee had such a horrible lisp. Normally I try to avoid this hour plus of blabber with resident idiots Terry Bradshaw, Howie and JJ. But on Super Sunday I was forced to listen to his unmistakable speech impediment. I have no problem with the guy but if talking is your job, don't you think you'd need to be good at it or at least sound pleasant? How did FOX botch this one? I think they found the best James Brown look alike and threw him in there hoping no one would notice. Well guess what FOX? I did! Especially after I almost complained to my cable provider for all the static sound occurring when Curt was previewing the one on one sit down with Giants defensive end Michael Strahan. Nice try Mr. Murdoch, nice try.